How to face Fears in front of the unknown? We all have a story or childhood trauma that serves as the genesis of our most common fears. In my case, it traces back to my father’s economic struggles. When I was just 7 years old, he was abruptly laid off, leading to the loss of our home and forcing us to move in with my grandparents. Determined to bounce back, my father ventured into entrepreneurship but faced successive failures. By the time I turned 15, he was financially depleted, and my grandfather became the sole provider for my family. Unfortunately, my father never managed to recover financially.

Fast forward to my 35-year-old self, working at a prestigious accounting firm. Starting my day at 8:00 a.m. and wrapping it up at 11:33 p.m. I find myself exhausted, overweight, and disillusioned with the corporate world. Instead, I dream of owning a flower shop. Yet, the fear of failure looms large, deeply ingrained in me from witnessing my father’s unsuccessful endeavors. I see myself in his failures.

As I approach my 39th year, with the threat of losing my job, I wrestle with uncertainty about my future. Unsure if I can endure another office job or secure alternative employment, I stand at a crossroads. Filled with anxiety, fighting with feelings of inadequacy encourage by my current workplace. I ponder how I can continue down this path. The universe is urging me to make a change, but this fear has hindered progress in the past. So, How can I do this? How can I face my fears in front of the unknown?

Almost everyone is afraid of something. Losing your job, getting a divorce, single parenthood, working as an entrepreneur, going on a date, and so many others you can start listing. Let’s talk about the key factors that will help anyone to face their fears and overcome them.

Understand your fears

To face anything really, you need to at least know what you are facing. As my story above, most fears come from past experiences and childhood traumas. The only way to understand them is to do a retrospective analysis of why you feel like you do. You don’t need to visit a psycologist to learn how to self-discover your fears and learn to manage them. But there are strategies you can implement to help in this goal:

• Take a time during your week to write down what you think you are afraid of. Start asking question or reason of how you think you come about that fear. Look for images in your past, stories, reactions, comments from someone you love. Write everything down.
• Explore the roos causes. For each fear written above, dig deeper. Dwell on the idea of what could have cause it, what triggers it.
• Look for anecdotes and repeated behavior.

Understanding your fear is an essential step to face fears in front of the unknown. Taking time of your week on this step is key in helping you achieve your dream.

Be aware of what you tell yourself

Truth is, that if you tell yourself you are going to fail at something for 39 years of your life, is a self-fulfilling prophecy. There is a mantra I learn a few years back that has really stayed with me: “We are what we think”. If we think we will fail, we will eventually fail. Remember that. Try to be mindful with your own thought, specially around your goals in life, both personally and professional.

It’s essential to recognize and identify patterns of negative self-talk to challenge, but more importantly to change them. Common types of negative self-talk include self-criticism, catastrophizing, over-generalization, and personalization. By becoming aware of these thought patterns, we can start to interrupt them and replace them with more positive and empowering messages.

Be compassionate and forgiven with yourself. Don’t fall in the loop of self-imposed limitations. Here a collection of positive phrases to repeat to you daily:

• You can do this
• Take one step a time
• I can learn form my mistakes
• You will never do it right the first time
• You will be provided for
• I trust in GOD

Act

Fear paralyze us, keeping us stuck in a cycle of avoidance. When we are faced with hard challenges or uncertainties, our instinct may be to retreat to a place of safety and comfort. However, staying in our fears only serves to reinforce them, preventing us from growing and fulfilling our dreams.

The only way to break a fear is to act on it. For example, if you have a fear of flying, you will not break it by staying on the ground. Once we have started the process to understand and identified our fears and learned how to think positively, you need to act on your fears. You need to start flying. And to do it we don’t have to be perfect. Progress is better than perfection. Truth is, we will achieve excellence with time and by repetition. Every time we act on our fears, we will gain confidence. Celebrating our efforts and learning from setbacks are essential components of the growth process.

Accept Change

Let go off the past, let the past in the past. Letting go of the past is not an act of forgetting or erasing our history but rather a process of releasing old energy and making room for new beginnings. Life is ever changing. Let go of the beliefs or things you are tying yourself with. Holding onto past grievances, regrets, or outdated beliefs can hinder our ability to embrace new opportunities and possibilities. 

Accepting change is the only way to face fears in front of the unknown. Truly, uncertainty comes from change, the unknown. As fear are usually tied to what cause it. To accept change, you need to let go off the past, acknowledge your feelings, practice acceptance and stay present.

Stop Worrying from Other’s Opinions and Judgments

I have a good group of friends. While I believe we love each other, in the past I have caught some of them talking about me with each other. About my weight, how I dress, some gossip of my job that moved around and other small things. I’ve let it passed, in the end, supposedly I don’t care what others talk about me. Truth is, I do care, and it hurts (another childhood trauma). Now, that I may be loosing my job, it worries me what they are going to say about me, that idea of gossip is eating me alive.

But why? Maybe I draw my value from social recognition, hence if the world has a bad opinion of me, then I have no value. And this cannot be more farther from the true. This idea makes you a slave of society. If you worry all the time about what others may think of you, then you will never leave the Matrix. We all make mistakes. Those people judging you also make mistakes. There’s always someone in your circle that is going to judge you. Let them.

Embracing our true selves and living authentically allows us to have the freedom to pursue our goals without being attached to the expectations of others. By letting go of the need for approval and validation from others, we can confidently chart our own path and walk towards a future that is aligned with our own dreams.

End the imagining loop of bad things that will happen to you

Listing to a podcast from the Spanish Psychologist Mariam Rojas Espave, she mentioned that our brain does not differentiate imaginative threats from real ones. Most of the time our fears are imagined and create the same response as if we were being chased by a lion. By imagining things we continue to get sick. Here is are some steps that will help you to stop overthinking:

• Challenge destructive thinking
• Practice Mindfulness
• Stop Worrying, just let things happen
• Practice gratitude of the smallest of things in your life
• Do positive visualization
• Act instead of thinking. Again the only way of knowing how things are going to go, is by acting. Only then you can change your strategy.

Closing thoughts

Fears are a scary thing. It paralyzes us. However, even if we think we can’t, there are ways to face fear and the unknown. You need to acknowledge how your past impacts your current mindset, stop negative self-talk by self awareness. Make sure you take action, and accept change. Stop listening what others talk off you. And finally, ending the cycle of imagining worst-case scenarios is crucial in relieving anxiety and regaining.